So, according to the church and convention of Christianity of which I USED to be a part of (not naming names as to which sect, but if you want to know I’ll tell you), I’m OFFICIALLY getting shunned. That’s right, yours truely is getting shunned. I even get paperwork! So, at the bequest of a good friend of mine, I am recording for posterity what it takes to get shunned. I’m even gonna include some ‘points’ i didn’t when he and I spoke about it. So AWAY WE GO:
Getting caught, having sex, under age, in the baptismal pool, with the church drama director, while engaged to someone else, and while using the Lord’s name in vain, DOESN’T GET YOU SHUNNED.
Convincing another church-goer that having sex on an alter while in ritual clothes would be ‘hot’, DOESN’T GET YOU SHUNNED.
Getting divorced with 3 kids, DOESN’T GET YOU SHUNNED.
Telling your Christian mother that you had sex on a catholic school playground, with your NOW ex-catholic girlfriend (whom you corrupted and ‘turned from the faith’), while you were both in catholic schoolgirl outfits, DOESN’T GET YOU SHUNNED.
Being a bisexual, polyamorous, witch, and high priestess in another religion DOESN’T GET YOU SHUNNED.
Getting disowned by your parents GETS YOU SHUNNED. Because “as the backs of your parents have been turned, thus shall be the hand of God.” Gods bless religion.