1) I truly cannot be a lesbian because I loooove the cock.

2) I find neurotic women annoying and detrimental to the ‘plight’ to be considered just as good as men.

3) I’m a pleasant as punch person, but if you are shitty to me, I’ll be shitty right back.

4) At a restaurant, I start the server’s tip at 100% of the bill amount, or more, but reduce it based on ‘infractions’.  The biggest infraction is letting my drink go empty if they aren’t busy.

5) I love having big tits.

6) I hate having to find a cute bra for afore-mentioned big tits.

7) I’m a TOTAL lingerie nut.

8) When I have money, I’m a shoe snob.

9) I hate mens underwear. It looks ridiculous, unless you are very very built, and even then, it’s iffy.

10) I’m not an ass or muscle swooner.  I swoon over a good forearm (tats are a +++), a good neck, and a good head.

11) I have actually, SERIOUSLY, thought of going to barber school, to be around men’s heads all day. Hair clippers turn me on.

12) In women, I love long-haired, brunette or red-heads, who are either goth girls or skater chicks, bigger girls are awesome.

13)I have a HUGE fascination with tattoos.

14) I swallow.

15) I hate the fact that I scar extremely easily.

16) I listen to loud angry music when I’m depressed, and play Sudoku on my computer.

17) I love white chocolate, and can be bribed.

18) I’m an empath.

19) I hate when people lie to me.  I know when they are doing it.

20) I smoke when I’m very very stressed, and then remember why I don’t smoke.

21) I go insane the longer I go without a job.

22) I have thought of joining the military, many times.

23) It makes me sad that I’ve never had a nickname beyond the shorter version of my name.

24) Words of love make my heart swell more than just about anything.

25) I have only ever gotten flowers from someone once.

26) I have far too many dreams about food chasing me.

27) I’m not afraid of them, but I find mimes creepy and annoying.

28) I’m VERY afraid of moths, even though logically I know they can’t hurt me.

29) I’m ticklish in 2 places, under one butt cheek and behind one knee.

30) I have large amounts of scars on the bottoms of my feet.

31) Wrestling with someone turns me on A LOT.

32) Biting me turns me into jelly.

33) I sleep with the lights on.

34) I love my hair the longer it gets

35) I wear fun colors for my clothes and hair whenever I can, cuz it reminds me of everything I’ve almost lost.

36) It tweaks me when people don’t use the words vagina or penis, but cute little euphemisms.

37) If it were legal, I’d seriously consider being a prostitute.

38) I have more than once seriously considered being a prostitute, even though it isn’t legal.

39) I’m a compulsive counter.

40) I have severe depression issues, but don’t want to be on anti-depressants again because they make me TOO placid.

41) The only two things I really miss about being married to my ex husband, that he cooks well, and I liked making cursive G’s in my last name.

42) I think of my father and his crappy Hitchhiker’s jokes every time I see the number 42

43) I don’t care about age when it comes to dating (as long as they are over 18).

44) I once turned down a date with a VERY hot girl, because I had previously had sex with her: mother, stepdad, ‘aunty’, and ‘uncle’.

45) I really don’t like when my partners ‘eat at the Y’ and fake  excitement, just so that we can move on to something else.

46) I wish I was a lot skinnier, but realize I’m lazy and eat badly.

47) Action ‘guy’ movies, in the theater, turn me on, A LOT.

48) I once got fingered in the back of a theater that was showing a kids movie.

49) Any food that is pastel colored (especially lavender  or sea-foam colored) creeps me out.

50) I have had more orgasms giving blowjobs, than I have during regular sex.

51) If you can identify my crappy movie quotes, I like you a little more.

52) I personally know Neil Armstrong, and talk to him on a regular basis.

53) I took my mother to the porn shop for the first time.

54) I used to be a massive kleptomaniac in high school.

55) I’m a dacryphiliac.

56) The word alfalfa amuses me greatly.

57) I am a manifester.

58) People who use ‘your’ in place of ‘you’re’ bother me.

59) I hate the term ‘big girl’.

60) I pick my long wear lipsticks based on which brand stays on best during blowjobs.

61) I like anal sex.

62) I feel like the odd duck out, in almost every group I’m in.

63) I really want to learn how to do the Beyonce butt pop.

64) I stare at people that I think are beautiful.

65) Once, I was pissed off at my boyfriend and dressed him very ‘butch’ when we were going out to a gay club, cuz I knew it would get him hit on and would make him squirm.

66) The best way to get on my bad side is to treat someone else in such a way as to make them feel smaller in order to make yourself seem bigger.

67) I love snakes, rats, spiders, and other ‘creepy’ animals.

68) I am deathly afraid of falling from heights.

69) I have a meditation place that I love, but I refuse to show it to anyone else.

70) Sitting under cherry trees calms me immensely.

71) I watch my best friend dancing and it makes my heart swell in happiness.

72) I am a slut, but I am a SELECTIVE slut.

73) I get very turned on by a man that is confident enough to dance.

74) I love bondage, but love escaping from bondage more. 🙂

75) I want a lot more tattoos

76) What kind of Sno-Cone you like really does tell me a lot about your personality.

77) I have to work batteries into my budget because I use my vibrator THAT much.

78) Bad etiquette drives me insane.

79) I would love to learn to swing dance again, this time learning the female parts, instead of leading.

80) I have almost died on several occasions.

81) I have a ‘get it on’ CD mix, but rarely listen to it with anyone else.

82) I’m multi-orgasmic, but cum from unusual things at times.

83) Underwear is evil.

84) I have only ever hit 1 person out of anger in my adult life.

85) I’ve never been arrested.

86) I know how to make a man unable to get ‘it’ up for the span of about 1 year.

87) If I say something about someone behind their back, rest assured, I have ZERO problem saying it to their face.

88) When said seriously, the phrase ‘who’s your daddy?’ annoys me and kills the mood for me.

89) I think flirting and making out are both fine arts.

90) I leave post-it notes around town telling people they are worthwhile.

91) Free hugging opened my eyes to a different way of thinking.

92) I apparently have a sexy phone voice.

93) I get more incoherent the more turned on I am.

94) I am VERY allergic to spearmint.

95) Being tied up helps me focus.

96) I love smutty romance novels.

97) I love guy on guy porn.

98) For as kinky as I am, I have had sex with suprisingly few people.

99) Chivalry is VERY appreciated by me.

100) My mother still thinks I was a virgin when I got married.

2 responses »

  1. srdork79 says:

    So, what kind of lipstick does stay on best during blow jobs? I’m curious, cause my lipstick is forever coming off.

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